mamabearslove

Finding Community and Belonging: Insights From "How We Show Up" by Mia Birdsong

mamabearslove@gmail.com (Jacinda Mitchell) — Sun, 14 Jul 2024 05:23:07 GMT

Finding Community and Belonging: Insights from "How We Show Up" by Mia Birdsong

In a world where many of us feel increasingly isolated despite being more connected than ever, Mia Birdsong’s "How We Show Up" is a timely and powerful exploration of the importance of community and belonging. This book is a heartfelt invitation to rethink our relationships, redefine success, and reimagine the ways we support and show up for each other.

Understanding the Essence of Community

Birdsong begins by challenging the conventional notions of success, which often emphasize individual achievement and material wealth over relationships and community well-being. She argues that these standards can lead to isolation and a lack of fulfillment. Instead, Birdsong proposes that true success and happiness come from our connections with others and the strength of our communities.

The Power of Authentic Relationships

One of the core messages of "How We Show Up" is the transformative power of authentic relationships. Birdsong shares personal stories and insights from her own life and those of others who have found deeper meaning through genuine connections. She highlights the importance of vulnerability, trust, and mutual support in building strong, lasting relationships.

Redefining Family

Birdsong also explores the concept of family beyond traditional definitions. She encourages readers to consider chosen families—networks of friends, neighbors, and loved ones who provide support, care, and a sense of belonging. These chosen families can be just as meaningful and significant as biological ones, offering a broader and more inclusive understanding of what family can be.

Embracing Radical Hospitality

Another key theme in the book is the idea of radical hospitality. Birdsong urges us to open our homes and hearts to others, creating spaces where people feel welcome, valued, and supported. This practice not only helps build stronger communities but also fosters a culture of generosity and empathy.

Practical Steps for Building Community

Birdsong doesn’t just present a vision of what could be; she also offers practical steps for readers to build and nurture their own communities. These include:

Engaging in Deep Listening: Truly listening to others without judgment can strengthen bonds and create a sense of understanding and solidarity.
Showing Up Consistently: Being present and reliable in the lives of others helps build trust and a sense of security.
Sharing Resources: Whether it’s time, skills, or material goods, sharing what we have with others can enhance communal well-being.
Creating Inclusive Spaces: Ensuring that everyone feels welcome and included in our communities is essential for fostering belonging.

The Impact of Collective Action And A Call To Show Up

Birdsong emphasizes that while individual actions are important, collective action is necessary to address larger systemic issues. By coming together and working as a community, we can create change on a broader scale and build a more just and equitable society.

"How We Show Up" is more than just a book; it’s a call to action. Birdsong inspires us to rethink our relationships and communities, urging us to show up for each other in meaningful ways. By embracing the principles she outlines, we can create a world where everyone feels valued, supported, and connected.

At Soul Development Center, we believe in the power of community and the importance of showing up for each other. Mia Birdsong’s insights resonate deeply with our mission, and we encourage you to explore "How We Show Up" to discover how you can foster deeper connections and build stronger communities in your own life. Together, we can create a world where everyone thrives.

Self Care When in Self Quarantine

mamabearslove@gmail.com (Jacinda Mitchell) — Sun, 22 Mar 2020 02:03:41 GMT

Struggling to create a new normal

Throughout the week ,I have been blessed to continue seeing clients through telehealth and supporting them through this difficult time. Most speak of the difficulty of finding a new normal while struggling with the lack of control in this situation. Some struggle with an increased sense of loneliness and isolation due to social distancing and the need to self quarantine. Some continue to work from home but struggle to find their rhythm when most people's routines have been so drastically changed. I personally have been feeling the need to spend more time outside and sometimes even make my normal commute but not go into my office! Whatever it takes to feel peace and ease the stress seems to be the name of the game! Hopefully the tips listed above can help!

Feeling Triggered?

mamabearslove@gmail.com (Jacinda Mitchell) — Tue, 09 Oct 2018 00:09:42 GMT

5 Ways to Reduce News Triggers

During my time away from blogging, so much and yet so little has changed. In the past few weeks, the news has gone from being surprising yet informative to just plain triggering for many. I know I have been feeling more and more triggered by the constant talk of sexual assault, abuse, harassment and stories of other women's trauma. Not only are we talking about it at work, but at home, school, social gatherings and all over the internet. I mean, we are steeping in these triggering conversations like tea bags! Now don't get me wrong, these are important conversations and they are way overdue. But for those of you, just as I, who are feeling triggered by the constant conversation of traumatic events I believe it is fair for us all to practice some compassion and self love in the form of TURNING IT OFF!

I know, that feels strange and uncomfortable. What if you miss something? Well, I will tell you realistically that you will not miss anything because any important information will be passed on by friends and family.
So here is what I suggest:

1. Turn off notifications on your phone

2. Engage in self care first thing in the morning

3. Tell your loved ones what you are doing

4. Set boundaries and let others know when they have crossed them

5. TRUST YOURSELF!

And remember, if you or anyone you know needs additional support,
I am accepting new patients at my Atwater office.
Please reach me at jacindatherapy@gmail.com or 702-340-5232

Self Love

mamabearslove@gmail.com (Jacinda Mitchell) — Wed, 31 Jan 2018 02:51:53 GMT

5 Ways to Love Yourself

As I mentioned at the beginning of the year, instead of New Year's Resolutions, I am engaging in New Year's Intentions. For January, my intention was Self Care in which we discussed how to make a self care kit and the importance of using it!
February is the month for Self Love! I know...I know... February is usually when people focus on their sweetheart and buying chocolates, roses, champagne and making reservations at expensive restaurants. My challenge to you, is to treat yourself and love yourself the way you would your partner or hypothetical partner!
That means:

Practice Mindfulness - be open, curious, and nonjudgmental towards new experiences or feelings
Act on need rather than want - recognize what you NEED vs what you WANT and remember the difference
Set boundaries - know what your limits are and enforce them, if an act harms you physically, mentally, or spiritually...It is appropriate to say NO!
Forgive yourself - recognize that you are human and will mistakes, learn from it and forgive yourself
Be Compassionate - to yourself and others, we often treat our loved ones better than we treat ourselves

Remember, if you or someone you know needs extra support, give me a call!

Self Care Kit

mamabearslove@gmail.com (Jacinda Mitchell) — Wed, 17 Jan 2018 22:51:27 GMT

How to put together your self care kit!

Hello everyone! As discussed last week, my intention for January is Self Care. So today I would like to share with you how I put together my Self Care Kit!

Find a box (I used a photo box but you can use any box you have laying around the house)
Think about activities that make you happy

Candles
Chocolate
Squishy balls, silly putty, slime
Coloring books and colored pencils, gel pens, markers
Aromatherapy (I have essential oil roll ons in rose, lavender, and tea tree)
Ear plugs and sleep mask (For those times when you need to block out the world)
Crystals and gemstones (I also like marbles)
Journal
Positive Affirmations (I make my own on card stock or post it notes)

3. Put all of your items in the box so they are easily found when needed
4. Decorate your self care box
5. Make sure to USE your self care box DAILY!!!!!!!!

I hope this helps! If you have any other ideas please let me know! And remember to reach out if you are in need of extra support.

Happy New Year!

mamabearslove@gmail.com (Jacinda Mitchell) — Tue, 09 Jan 2018 23:13:14 GMT

How to follow through with your resolutions

Hello Everyone! Happy New Year and welcome back! Some of you may have noticed I took some time off from blogging to focus on the holidays with my family. So now I am back and ready to start talking about how we can all be our best selves in the new year!
I know I know... there are thousands of articles and blogs about resolutions and setting goals and blah blah blah. We all know the drill, we set a New Year's Resolution and we stay with it for about 3 weeks if we're lucky and then go back to feeling guilty for setting yet another goal that we failed to follow through with. I have done this countless times and I am tired of it as I am sure much of you are as well. So this year, I am doing things differently. Instead of coming up with a crazy unattainable goal for the rest of the year, my New Year's Resolution is to set an intention for each month. Check it out!

January- Self Care

February- Self Love

March- Self Education

Try it out for yourself and let me know how it goes! And if setting an intention every month is still too overwhelming, set a weekly intention or even a daily intention! It's your life! Live it the way you want! Stay tuned for weekly blogs on ways to be your best self.

Appointments available at my Atwater Village office! Call to set up an appointment! 702-340-5232

7 tips for better sleep

mamabearslove@gmail.com (Jacinda Mitchell) — Tue, 19 Sep 2017 00:24:43 GMT

Get more sleep this school year!

Going back to school, as discussed in previous posts, is difficult on so many levels. Getting organized, eating healthy, reducing stress, and getting enough sleep when you go back to school is tough. Sleep struggles are common throughout life but being a teenager trying to balance school, friends, family, and self care can feel impossible. The Sleep Foundation states that teens need between 8 and 10 hours of sleep and it is normal to struggle sleeping before 11 pm due to the biological changes our body go through during adolescence. So how do make sure you are getting the sleep you need when you have a paper to write and your best friend is having a melt down?

Here are some tips:

Make sleep a priority- sleep is just as important as eating healthy and exercise
Naps can help if they are kept to less than an hour and not too close to your bedtime
Stay away from caffeine a couple of hours before bed
Set a bedtime and wake time and stick to it, even on the weekends!
Set a sleep routine to help prepare for bed- do calm activities and limit time spent on screens
Keep a to do list by your bed so you can write down your thoughts and spend less time worrying
Make your bedroom a SLEEP ZONE!

Check out the video below on how to make your bedroom a sleep zone! And remember, if you or someone you know feels they need extra support, contact me for a free phone consultation!

Back to School Eats!

mamabearslove@gmail.com (Jacinda Mitchell) — Mon, 11 Sep 2017 23:21:19 GMT

Pack your lunch and reduce your stress

Ever since i was a little girl, adults have been telling me to eat breakfast. I am sure this is true for most children because very early on, I distinctly remember being told that "breakfast is the most important meal of the day." For some, eating breakfast can be difficult for many reasons. Mornings are hectic and finding time to eat is most often last on your to do list. The morning can also be a tumultuous time for the stomach, especially when you are like me and battle anxiety. Anxiety can take many forms but for me, my stomach is usually most effected by experiencing nausea, frequent trips to the bathroom and general "tummy troubles." So it can be a struggle to eat breakfast when you are unsure whether it is going to stay in your body!
So coming up with a way to ensure I could eat breakfast to have the energy to make it through 8 am Algebra was essential. That is when I started packing my lunch the night before! I would pack different fruits, vegetables, and other easy snack items that could be munched on throughout the morning until my stomach stopped hating me. This way of packing your lunch also allows you to eat more variety and reduce your anxiety by packing it the night before school!
Check out this video to see some easy lunch ideas and remember, if you feel you need extra support managing your anxiety or coping with school, contact me for a FREE phone consultation.

Get organized

mamabearslove@gmail.com (Jacinda Mitchell) — Fri, 18 Aug 2017 23:59:13 GMT

How to be a Homework Warrior!

Congratulations! If you go to school in Los Angeles, you most likely have started school and were able to make it through the first week. If you have yet to start school then you can spend the next week or so organizing your school supplies to be the Homework Warrior you have always dreamed of being! Remember, organization should make school easier, not harder. So if any of these hacks become overwhelming or distracting, dial it back and keep it simple!
Here is what worked for me:

Color Coding- find what works for you so highlight text by urgency, subject, or importance
Set alarms on your phone for due dates and assignments
Make lists- the running dialogue in your head dedicated to task completion can be curbed by lists
Take pictures of the board, notes, or anything else you need to remember
Set aside time after school to do homework and prepare for the next day

As always, if you or a loved one feels they need professional support, CONTACT ME!

Nervous About Going Back To School?

mamabearslove@gmail.com (Jacinda Mitchell) — Fri, 04 Aug 2017 22:26:47 GMT

5 Tips to Manage School Anxiety

If you are anything like me when I was in school, as soon as August 1st hits, it is time to start worrying about going back to school. I remember the bittersweet feelings of sadness towards the end of summer and excitement/anxiety towards going back to school. I got to see my friends, show off whatever changes I had made to my wardrobe and hair, and experience my new schedule! All of those things were very much anticipated but there was also those thoughts and feelings of anxiety like, “What if I don't like my teachers?” or, “Will my classes be too hard?” So I have put together a list of some of the tips that helped me manage my anxiety towards going back to school. I hope they help and remember, if you feel you could use some extra support this year, contact me. I have after school and weekend spots open at my private practice in Los Feliz!

Get ready the night before! Pick out your clothes, pack your lunch and your backpack, and set your alarm
Look at your schedule and KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING
Know your coping tools- grounding, deep breathing, journal, talk to your friends
Have a point person- counselor, teacher, coach
Remember, you will get back into the groove of school after a week or so and ENJOY!

3 Ways to Listen to Your Body

mamabearslove@gmail.com (Jacinda Mitchell) — Fri, 28 Jul 2017 23:23:34 GMT

What is your body trying to tell you?

The other day I received a phone call from a dear friend who was struggling with a difficult choice. She had struggled the night before and was coming to the conclusion that she needed to take better care of her physical body. How did she come to that conclusion? Well this person happens to be very skilled in listening to her body and heart to connect with her needs. She spent the day checking into her body and listening to what her body was trying to tell her like her eating habits, water consumption and how much rest she had been getting over the past few weeks. After taking the time to listen to her body, she was able to follow her heart and evaluate which changes needed to be made. I was so proud of her for taking the time to listen to her body and then allowing herself to be vulnerable enough to reach out to me for help. This got me thinking and I realized that listening to your body and following your heart is a skill that can be difficult and is often passed over when we are being taught how to learn and grow. So here are some ways that I listen to my body:

Get comfortable, sit or lay down and breath slowly and deeply
Focus on the parts of your body that may need extra support
- Are you tired?
- Are you hungry?
- Does a specific muscle feel tight or cramped?
Explore how you can support your body to heal

I hope these tips help you listen to your body and follow your heart! Check out the video below for additional ways to check in with yourself! And remember, if you feel you need professional support, contact me for a FREE phone consultation!

I Am That Girl

mamabearslove@gmail.com (Jacinda Mitchell) — Sat, 22 Jul 2017 21:23:44 GMT

How can you be THAT GIRL?

When I worked with teenage mothers in the foster care system, I saw my fair share of pain and heard plenty of trauma stories. Being in that environment day after day can really take a toll on your idea of humanity and honestly, scares you into believing that sexual predators are EVERYWHERE. It is no coincidence that after 6 years in that field, I could feel pretty hopeless towards the future of humans and the idea that our youth, especially our young girls, could live in a world where they are able to love and be themselves. So this week, when I was honored to be able to attend the I Am That Girl 2017 event in Los Angeles, CA it was refreshing to sit in a room with so many young girls and hear them express their feelings with the emotional intelligence of a Goddess! From taking responsibility for their own actions to setting boundaries in relationships, I Am That Girl is obviously teaching life skills needed to live as your authentic self.

During this 3 day event, these girls are experiencing “all the feels.” So I volunteered to provide therapeutic support for any of the girls that came across feelings that needed extra care processing. So there I am, sitting in a classroom at Loyola Marymount University. The windows are open and you can smell the ocean air with every breeze. I had no idea I was going to experience some of the most inspiring souls that would change my outlook and hope towards the future of women everywhere. If you have never heard of this amazing group of people, check out their website www.iamthatgirl.com . I Am That Girl helps girls from ages 14 to 22 to realize their own power and self worth through group activities, speakers, and events. These girls come from all over the United States to connect with one another and support each other to “love, express, and be exactly who they are.” Since supporting teenage girls to engage in healthy relationships with others and themselves by increasing emotional intelligence is my passion, I believe programs like I Am That Girl are the future. If you or someone you know is looking for a therapist or even considering the option of getting mental health services, contact me! I would love to help you on your journey to a better you!

So please check out www.iamthatgirl.com and take the pledge or join a chapter! And stay tuned for upcoming blog topics related to adolescents such as:

Back to School
Balancing Life
“Hookin Up”

Acting As If

mamabearslove@gmail.com (Jacinda Mitchell) — Fri, 14 Jul 2017 21:56:52 GMT

Can you Fake Happiness?

"Have you ever tried...not being sad?" That invalidating line that most of us struggling with mental health have heard at one point in time in our lives. It comes from a place of caring and usually a lack of education regarding mental health in general. But it does not change the fact that when you hear that line, you feel angry, invalidated, and maybe even a little guilty. Of course, if you could feel better, then you would! But how? Every person is different and no single coping skill works for everyone so I often share with my clients many different ways to improve their mood. One in particular I use in therapy with clients and myself because it is FREE and it shows results. The "fake it until you make it" principal; also known by Alfred Adler as Acting As If.

What is the "fake it until you make it" principal?

It is the idea that by engaging in enjoyable activities, even while feeling depressed, those activities can retrain your feelings through changing your actions. For instance, when I was in college, my family pet became sick and died suddenly. I was crushed and for a while, I had a hard time doing any of the fun activities I had enjoyed before. So after feeling sad and empty for a couple of weeks, I started reaching out to friends and doing fun things like visiting museums and walking in the park. Sure, at the beginning I still felt sad and empty but after time, I began to enjoy those activities again. I was acting as if spending time with my friends made me happy until it actually did. That is the "fake it until you make it" principal. As Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC states in her article Anxiety Disorders: Can You Fake It ’til You Make It? , "The idea is that actions are important, and when people begin to act differently, they begin to think and feel differently, and they become different. “Fake it ’til you make it,” then, is a way to allow ourselves to take action despite paralyzing anxiety disorders."
So, what I am suggesting is to get moving. Meaning, do something, anything you like to do that can get you moving! Personally, I like yoga, dancing, and running around the house like a toddler! So find your thing and follow your heart.

*Remember, these ideas are meant to aid in self improvement. If you feel like you need a professional, please search for a therapist in your area. If you have feelings of suicide or self harm, call 911 or the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255

Here is one of my favorite yoga sessions to help you get started

Pay it forward

mamabearslove@gmail.com (Jacinda Mitchell) — Sat, 08 Jul 2017 20:54:32 GMT

How helping others can help you

So here is what I am thinking; sometimes it is really hard to be positive. Especially in Los Angeles, where it takes you 30 minutes to drive 4 miles and the freeways look like parking lots. You are swamped with work and you haven't eaten since this morning and all of the sudden your husband gets home and says he had a bad day. How do you balance your hangry feelings and be supportive for the person you love? Well, for one, Eat Something! (and check out my blog on Good Food = Good Mood) Two, positivity breeds positivity . So the last thing you might be thinking when you are stressed and annoyed is being positive but research shows that doing nice things for others can improve our mood. Remember the movie Pay It Forward? Think about it that way. And I am not talking about volunteering at a soup kitchen on the weekends (though that would be a nice thing to do), I am talking about small things. Small actions you can do throughout your day that are FREE and not only make others feel good but improve your mood at the same time!

Here are some ways to get started:

Point out people's strengths i.e. "I like how you speak your mind"
Offer compliments to strangers
Let someone go ahead of you in line
Bake something for your friends or neighbors
Help someone who is struggling to parallel park
Buy coffee for the person behind you in a long morning line

What are some of your ideas? Add them in the comments!

On a side note, I am now accepting direct billing at my Los Feliz office for those with PPO insurance. If you or someone you know is looking for a therapist in the area, please refer them to my site.

Good Food = Good Mood

mamabearslove@gmail.com (Jacinda Mitchell) — Wed, 28 Jun 2017 23:53:48 GMT

We all know that eating healthy whole foods is good for our physical health, but did you know it can have a surprisingly positive impact on your mental health?

Being a therapist in Los Angeles, I often meet with clients who are into alternative ways to improve their health. Whether it be crystals, reiki, or energy healing; Los Angeles is at the forefront of trying new things. So it makes sense that my clients would be interested in ways to improve their mental health without medication.
We all eat food; and for the most part, we try to eat healthy for our physical well being. Well now. we have reason to eat healthy for our mental well being. In a recent article on Psychology Today, Georgia Ede, MD, discusses how sugar consumption can be increasing mood swings. So that comforting cupcake might actually be making you feel worse! By no means do I think changing your diet alone will make everything better but I do think it's a great place to start.
Take a look at the article at www.psychologytoday.com/blog/diagnosis-diet/201706/stabilize-your-mood-food