Can you Fake Happiness?
"Have you ever tried...not being sad?" That invalidating line that most of us struggling with mental health have heard at one point in time in our lives. It comes from a place of caring and usually a lack of education regarding mental health in general. But it does not change the fact that when you hear that line, you feel angry, invalidated, and maybe even a little guilty. Of course, if you could feel better, then you would! But how? Every person is different and no single coping skill works for everyone so I often share with my clients many different ways to improve their mood. One in particular I use in therapy with clients and myself because it is FREE and it shows results. The "fake it until you make it" principal; also known by Alfred Adler as Acting As If.
What is the "fake it until you make it" principal?
It is the idea that by engaging in enjoyable activities, even while feeling depressed, those activities can retrain your feelings through changing your actions. For instance, when I was in college, my family pet became sick and died suddenly. I was crushed and for a while, I had a hard time doing any of the fun activities I had enjoyed before. So after feeling sad and empty for a couple of weeks, I started reaching out to friends and doing fun things like visiting museums and walking in the park. Sure, at the beginning I still felt sad and empty but after time, I began to enjoy those activities again. I was acting as if
spending time with my friends made me happy until it actually did. That is the "fake it until you make it" principal. As Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC states in her article Anxiety Disorders: Can You Fake It ’til You Make It?
, "The idea is that actions are important, and when people begin to act differently, they begin to think and feel differently, and they become different. “Fake it ’til you make it,” then, is a way to allow ourselves to take action despite paralyzing anxiety disorders."
So, what I am suggesting is to get moving. Meaning, do something, anything you like to do that can get you moving! Personally, I like yoga, dancing, and running around the house like a toddler! So find your thing and follow your heart.
*Remember, these ideas are meant to aid in self improvement. If you feel like you need a professional, please search for a therapist in your area. If you have feelings of suicide or self harm, call 911 or the suicide hotline at
1-800-273-8255
Here is one of my favorite yoga sessions to help you get started
